chrisfafalios:

A very BIG Punchline Announcement…

by Chris Fafalios

Our plane is about to take off for Los Angeles, where we will be spending the next couple weeks recording 6 songs for the new Punchline album. We have written what we believe are a collection of our best songs yet, and we are very excited to lay them down and bring our vision to life. This is our second trip to the “City of Angels” in a month, and we will be telling you why we were here in mid-August soon (it was for a very crazy reason, which we’ll be telling everyone we ever met about as soon as the time is right).

In Punchline, we have never been all about doing whatever was cool at that moment in an effort to become more popular. We have passed on possible opportunities if they seemed to jeopardize what we believed and have worked so hard for. While sometimes we might look back and say “what if?”, we have to at the same time look at ourselves and say “we’re still a band after all these years”. We enjoy making music more than ever, and we feel very confident - both on a songwriting and musicianship level - that we are at our peak. I hope that this doesn’t come off as arrogant, because that’s not my intentions. I am just surrounded by my favorite musicians in the world, and I’m honored to be able to go record with them once again.

As much as we are psyched to go record and release songs that we like, that’s not all we want to do. We owe it to ourselves - and the people who have supported us for over 14 years - to try to reach a level we’ve never reached before with this new recording. We want to get to a point where all we have to worry about in life is writing music and making each album better than the last, and not constantly stress about paying rent or being broke. This is about as real as it gets, my friends. Everything that has happened to us over this decade-and-a-half has led us to this point, and the time is now.

We are a very focused band right now, ready to make rock music that speaks to the world. Our long term goal is to be able to continue releasing albums and being a band for a very long time. Our short term goal is this: release one of these new songs and reach #1 on the iTunes singles charts. Lofty goal for a relatively small band like Punchline? Maybe. But we believe deep down that if this is meant to be, the people that care will help spread the word and spend that 99 cents on the day we release a new song. Between our longevity, writing our best songs yet, and the fact that we have the greatest supporters of any band we’ve ever seen, we think we might have a shot at having a song on that little sidebar on your iTunes - right between Lil Wayne and Adele.

We will let you know way in advance when a new song will be up. We are counting on your support to reach this goal, so that we can set new goals to accomplish, allowing us to remain a band FOREVER.

greatbadmovies:

“The Wizard” review by Chris Fafalios

Jurce dared me to watch “The Wizard”, which is a movie that I’ve seen several times in my life. I remember it being good, but I think it might be 100% because of the silver screen premiere of SUPER MARIO BROTHERS 3 which left me SPELLBOUND as a kid. My classmates didn’t sign my yearbook “Have a great summer NINTENDO FREAK!!!” for nothing.

An autistic child gets the movie off to a great start by walking down the highway to some of the hottest late 80s adult contemporary music imaginable. This is where we first hear his catch phrase - “California”. A cop captures the boy and puts him in what looks like a very fun jail. In the next scene, we learn that the boy’s brothers are Fred Savage and Christian Slater. I don’t have any brothers, and I got really upset just thinking about having two brothers as cool as Fred Savage and Christian Slater. Fred Savage is determined to not let his younger brother be put into a mental instituation. Christian Slater is kind of a prick though, and he doesn’t care. All Christian Slater cares about is going to the Dairy Queen and “knocking back a few”. I’m assuming he meant Dilly Bars.

Fred Savage kidnaps his little brother (Jimmy), and they hitch a ride in the back of a Hostess truck. Jimmy stays at some sort of home already, and the people who run the place apparently hate Jimmy. Jimmy’s dad (played by the classic Dad actor Beau Bridges) and Christian Slater begin their search for Fred Savage and Jimmy, but not before some weird man in one of those rope necktie things warns them to not to get in his way.

Fred Savage and Jimmy try to buy a bus ticket, but they’re 203 dollars short or so. Jimmy plays some Double Dragon at the bus station. He scores 50,000 points, which seems to be a lot of points judging from Fred Savage’s reaction. I wasn’t all that impressed though, because it seemed like Jimmy was only on the first stage of Double Dragon. The boys soon meet Jenny Lewis from Rilo Kiley, and of course Fred Savage INSTANTLY brags about Jimmy’s Double Dragon score (which is exactly what I would do if I met Jenny Lewis). They make a bus ticket bet that Jimmy can beat Jenny Lewis’s score, and I can’t really figure out why anyone would even care about a score on Double Dragon because it seems more like a game that you try to “beat” than get a high score. If it was Tetris or something, I’d understand wanting to get a high score. I force myself to suspend disbelief and take this plot oversight for what it is. Some edge-of-your-seat Double Dragon action ensues, and Jimmy wins the bet.

Christian Slater and Beau Bridges have some wacky driving experiences which are barely worth mentioning. The next scene, however, is very much worth mentioning. Fred Savage, Jenny Lewis, and Jimmy sit at a table in a diner which has a NINJA GAIDEN machine installed into the table top. Jimmy completely tears up NINJA GAIDEN while listening to New Kids On The Block “The Right Stuff”. This scene pretty much sums up my childhood, and I start to maybe think that this movie should be on GreatGREATMovies.com instead of GreatBADMovies.com. I do realize that there’s a lot of movie to go though. Jimmy says “California” again, and I come up with a great new drinking game: every time someone says “California” in The Wizard, you take a shot of Wild Turkey and look up a fact about autism. It could be fun and super educational.

Jenny Lewis comes up with the idea of entering Jimmy in a video game contest that pays tons of money. Back at the zany part of the movie, Beau Bridges beats the crap out of a car with a shovel. Jenny, Fred, and Jimmy hitch a ride on a cow truck, but when Jenny starts counting her 21 dollars worth of 1 dollar bills, the trucker goes MONEY CRAZY, pulls the truck over, and steals her money. Luckily, Jimmy hustles a couple of geezers playing Super Mario Brothers at a restaurant. The kids hitch a ride with a motorcycle gang, and a 4 minute long montage set to a song called “Send Me An Angel” watches them travel across the country.

At a restaurant where Jimmy is making a hustle, some nerd tells them about LUCAS, who is apparently THE SH*T at videogamin’. When we first see Lucas, he is wearing very cool sunglasses, along with a very cool trenchcoat with very cool short shorts underneath. He brags about having 97 Nintendo games, but not before Jenny Lewis calls him a BUTTHEAD. Lucas shows Jenny Lewis who the REAL butthead is, though. He breaks out his POWER GLOVE and plays RAD RACER with it. Jenny Lewis is amazed by Lucas’s Power Glove display. Lucas turns to them, and says one of the GREATEST MOVIE QUOTES OF ALL TIME…

“I love the Power Glove…it’s so bad”. - Lucas

Christian Slater and Beau Bridges share a hotel bed and play some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for Nintendo. Some bullies catch up to the kids and beat them up. We find out that Jimmy isn’t actually autistic, just traumatized since his sister died. The kids go to a casino and use a giant black man to gamble for them. They win 400 bucks and only give him a 10 dollar tip. Fred Savage and Jenny Lewis train Jimmy on all the cool Nintendo games by way of montage. Christian and Beau get in a big car mash-up with their child-hunter arch nemesis, and they use up all of their swear word quota for a PG-rated movie in one scene.

The bad guy in the rope necktie catches up with the kids in Reno, but Jenny Lewis saves the day by screaming “he touched my breast!” I store this little nugget away for the next time someone tries to kidnap my friend. They stop at Jenny Lewis’s trailer in the middle of the desert, and unfortunately the jerk snatches Jimmy up there. Luckily, Jenny Lewis’s giant black trucker friend and all his trucker buddies surround the guy and beat him up. The large black trucker (Spanky) is one of the greatest men I’ve ever seen. He gives the kids a ride to the Video Game Championships in Los Angeles. I take a minute to look Spanky up on IMDB.com. He is played by Frank McRae, a former NFL player who has played everyone from Frank McFee in “Mr. P’s Dancing Sushi Bar” to Pig the Burglar on “Magnum P.I.”

Some weird, loud, sweaty guy is hosting the Video Game Championships. Jimmy and LUCAS both make it past the first NINJA GAIDEN round of the tournament. Lucas takes an opportunity to talk some serious SH*T to Jimmy. Lucas then takes his place in the DICKH*AD HALL OF FAME by pointing Lucas out to the bad guy! At this point, everyone is in LA looking for Jimmy: the bad guy, Jimmy’s deadbeat Mom and Stepdad, Christian Slater, Beau Bridges, and John Cusack (not really).

It is now time for the greatest movie moment of my childhood: VIDEO ARMAGEDDON. A giant robotic door opens to reveal Jimmy standing there, ready to TEAR IT UP. The giant screens open above him to reveal SUPER MARIO BROTHERS 3 for the first time in every kid in America’s life. It was the most beautiful sight that I’d ever seen up to this point in my life. Jimmy finds a WARP ZONE and flies ahead to the world where everything is really big. Everyone is super happy for Jimmy and thinks he’s the greatest kid ever. Even the bad guy is cheering for him. Jimmy smiles. I get chills.

On the ride home, Jimmy says “California” like 10 times in a row, and at this point I have to take a break to go throw up from chugging Wild Turkey and learning about neural development disorders. They hang out inside of a big dinosaur, where Jimmy had once spent time with his sister before she died. He leaves his lunchbox full of sister memorabilia there, and it’s too sad of a moment to even make fun of. Jimmy kisses Jenny Lewis in the back of a pickup truck. The end.

Everyone should follow GREATBADMOVIES, the dang best Tumblr page ever!!

greatbadmovies:

“Keith” review by Matt Jurcevich

 My old friend Chris dared me to watch the movie “Keith”.  This movie is starring Jesse McCartney (brother of Paul McCartney) and Elisabeth Harnois (sister of Mick Jagger).  The first ten minutes of the movie is chalk full of emotion, shaggy haircuts and 2 naked men’s asses which isn’t a bad start.  The character of Keith is very loveable right off the bat.  Keith hates every person ever born and despises striving to be successful, but what Keith IS into is being snarky and selling liquid acid.  In comes a bonfire party scene that really came close to my heart, invoking fond high school memories of drinking with friends around a fire, telling stories, laughing and of course, salsa dancing.

     The heroine of the story is a high school tennis star who specializes in playing single serve matches.  In her spare time, she enjoys public displays of affection with South American exchange students that infuriate Keith and make everyone else uncomfortable, including myself.  Needless to say the two stars of the movie are from completely different worlds.  As chance would have it, they are paired up as partners in chemistry class so that she can work out compound algorithms and he can smirk like he just had sex with your girlfriend. 

     At this point, Keith keeps taking his attractive lab partner on hipster dates such as breaking into corporate conference rooms to study, bowling and tuning up 1946 Ford pickup trucks.  The best date they had was when Keith dropped her off to have sex with an awkward Brazilian teenager and then take her home.  As action-packed as this sounds, we are now at minute 40 and there is no plot, nor is there any inkling of one that is about to develop.  I am hoping that Keith commits suicide or at least some degree of manslaughter soon.

    I think that the director realized that Keith was about as loveable as scabies, so he included a heartwarming scene where a young and joyous Indian boy jumps into the back of Keith’s pickup truck and Keith tells him to get out.  As far as the development of the female lead, the director really wanted to convey that she was going to excel in life, so there is a montage of her talking to adults such as teachers, parents and coaches.  By “montage” I meant there is a separate scene for every single person I listed where she talks about her school work to them.  I was riveted.

    It has been 1 hour and I can no longer watch this movie anymore.  I am going to take a guess and say Keith does something charming at the end of the movie that is reminiscent of John Cusak.  (Fast Forwarding)…..  I was right in my prediction.  Keith tells her that he “screwed” her and wanted to make her life as miserable as his and that he hates her.  She then starts making out with him in an airport.  THE END.